So, I have a very, very small glimpse of that unsettled feeling the disciples must have experienced over the Easter events as told in the story told in the lectionary (John 20:19-31).
Life had changed in a second for them. Even after hearing from Mary about the resurrected Christ, for safety they had locked themselves into a room.
I’m trying to imagine the variety of mixed feelings and emotions that would be going through their heads as they ponder the events of that first Easter.
Fear . . . will the religious authorities think we have stolen the body?
Terror . . . will we be crucified too?
Confusion . . . what’s going to happen to us now?
Shock . . . think how traumatic the weekend has been
Guilt . . . didn’t they all scatter and deny Jesus
Regret . . . I wish I’d stayed at the cross
Powerlessness . . . I wish I could have protected Jesus
Hopelessness . . . only three years and it’s ended, it’s all over.
Incredibility . . . Is it really true what Mary (and the other women) told us?
Excitement . . . Maybe it is true.
Hope . . . Maybe Jesus did rise from the dead.
A myriad of thoughts, I can imagine them lying awake at night being bombarded by them.
But then, life changed in a second! Suddenly Jesus appeared and said “Peace be with you”
Wow, amazing, life changing, what an impact those four small words must have had.
Jesus was once again amongst them.
Jesus understood their inner turmoil
Jesus understood their weaknesses but didn’t condemn them
They may have abandoned Jesus, but Jesus didn’t abandon them
Then Jesus breathed on them. And something happened, something deep within themselves and it changed everything. Nothing would ever be the same again for them. It was not just an outward change but a deep inner change. Suddenly they had direction and strength and purpose.
Jesus’ mission hadn’t died on the cross, they were going to carry it on. This is the Johannine account of Pentecost. This is John’s account of the giving of the Holy Spirit. It is not spectacular and noisy as in Acts but quiet and relational.
The change for the disciples was momentous. They were behind closed doors afraid of the same fate befalling them. All it took was one breathe, and life changed.
But someone missed out. Thomas wasn’t with them. Today, I want to rethink the image of Thomas. I want to shake off the doubting label that has been upon him for centuries.
Not a doubting Thomas but a Thomas who is desperate for inclusion, desperate not to have missed out. I prefer to see Thomas as desperate to have the same spiritual experience as others. I think everyone is a bit like that wanting to see and experience for themselves rather than hearing about it second-hand.
I can relate to that. I know that feeling of being left out, being excluded. I love the story and humanness of Thomas. I think maybe Thomas represents all who have ever felt excluded.
I think we can learn from how Thomas behaved:
Thomas stuck around despite missing the initial experience.
Thomas didn’t need the same experience (he didn’t actually get to touch the wounds)
Thomas was included in his own way.
Thomas saw his own vision of the risen Jesus.
This way of interpreting Thomas contains hope for all of us. Even though we might not get to see and experience life and spirituality in the same way as others, we are still blessed.
